How to Say Goodbye

Well, it happened to me.  I knew it was coming, but it wasn’t very good timing, as other pressing issues had my attention at the time.

“Today is your last day.”  There it was.  I had prepared for this for a while.  My organization was rebuilding to keep its commitment to financial responsibility, and I wasn’t the only one whose job ended.  I had been treated very well for as long as my job was sustainable, and right through the end, but it was still scary to hear.

I had heard a few crazy stories in the past, like the woman who immediately began yelling at the leaders who had to let her go.  No good came of this, especially since my organization does hire contract workers as needed, and former employees can be eligible for this work.  In other words, there were very real bridges to be burnt by the outburst.

So when my time came, I was ready.  “Do you have any questions?”

Yes.  “Am I eligible for contract work here?”  Message sent.  I sincerely wanted to keep the door open, as I obviously needed work.  Beyond that, though, by implication I had said that I held no hard feelings and would work for this organization again if the opportunity arose.  I did not make any long speeches or tell the boss how she should have saved my job.

 

When it’s over it’s over.  You are not going to change a decision that comes down from the top by making a fuss.  But with the right approach you might just gain some leverage for the future, such as getting a good reference from the ex-employer.

What SHOULD you say?

1.       Thank the employer for the time spent at the organization and the opportunity to learn.  You obviously liked some things about the job or you would have left.

2.       Ask about the possibility of getting a recommendation letter or using the organization as a reference during your job search.

3.       Find out if you are eligible for consideration for future openings with the organization.  If you have made a good impression you may as well capitalize on it if things change.

I have been in a supervisory position in food service, customer service, and higher education.  I know what it takes to stand out as an employee or prospect, and this is the way a winner handles a setback.

I Lost. YAY!!!

I had my nicest camera strapped around my neck.  I had gone to a nearby park to gather photos of the landscape for a project I wanted in my portfolio.  As I got past a group of young men I heard some shouting, and finally realized it was directed at me.  I turned to see two of the young men rapidly approaching me from the opposite side of a railed walkway.  They stopped as they got near my side and one raised his voice again.

“I wanna know why you’re taking my picture.”

That hadn’t happened.  Legally, if you’re in a public place you’re fair game for a photographer, but that’s not my style.  It didn’t seem like there was time to explain all that to this guy, however.

I picked a tone of voice that sounded like I thought sneaking his picture would be a terrible thing to do to him.  I faced him squarely and gave him my full attention, as if he was the most important person in the world.  “I didn’t take your picture.”

“Yes, you did, I saw you point your camera right at me.”  That also hadn’t happened.  At this point he was moving back around to the far side of the railing.  I am pretty sure that drugs or alcohol were part of the equation here, so this was a good development.  He was backing away.  My camera and I were not likely to sustain any damage.

“You were taking my picture.  Don’t let it happen again.”  He turned as stalked back to his group of friends.  I guess he told me.

If you are keeping score, a confused, possibly violent young man and his sidekick came at me in a confrontational manner.  The situation diffused without any physical contact, and the incident was closed.

I let this guy have his say.  I didn’t cower, but I didn’t complicate the discussion or try to have the last word.  He walked away feeling he had enforced his will on me and vented his anger harmlessly.  I strategically lost an argument.  It was worth it.

I Broke Cement. Hire Me.

Update on this one: This was written during a job search and I have not only found in employment but have advanced my career since then. I am reposting this as an example of a tie-in, and an example of how to relate your life to your employer's needs.

I was a little winded. I had just finished fighting three guys less than half my age while my wife stood by helpless. There were others watching as well, who could have stopped it. But then I wouldn’t have earned my belt rank. It was a martial arts test, and I was up for the last belt I would earn before my black belt test.

At this point I was relieved. Sparring multiple opponents would be the last part of my test. I sat back and watched the lower ranks, mostly younger than 15 years old, break boards with various chops and kicks. Breaks only occur every second test, and it wasn’t my turn. That was the rule, until the Grandmaster called my name, and asked the assistants to bring out cement. Three slabs, all for me. But this was something I knew a little about. At this point the audience and my classmates were nervous for me, but I understand how these breaks work. I got some coaching from the Grandmaster and away I went. My only regret is that I didn’t save a piece of a slab as a souvenir. 

My secret? Beside being a martial artist in training, I am also a professional magician, and there is a lot of information about breaks like this in magic books. I had also watched black belts break cement for their tests, looking for the technique. It was the bits of extra knowledge I had tucked away that made me a success. It always is.

My last job was created specifically for me to perform duties that only I could fulfill, with my unique blend of skills, skills that I didn’t even need before the promotion. I just don’t believe that it is a good idea to limit myself.

As I have always told my students: In life you don’t get to decide what you don’t need to know. Can you be sure you will NEVER need to know how to change a tire? Of course not. So it is with job skills. I won’t stop adding to mine, because you never know what you might need. And I want to be the guy you hire to get it done.