Umm..About Those Pauses...

Take my hand. I am about to lead you away from the trap we all fall into from time to time:  the vocalized pause.  You have heard famous people caught in it – the use of um and other filler syllables.  Yikes!  What’s happening with these?

We tend to use filler when we are afraid we will lose things, either the audience, our train of thought or both.  It may seem to us as if a pause in speaking stretches out for a long time and the listeners will grow restless.  Or that hearing our own words will help us remember what came next.  The problem of forgetting a speech shouldn’t come up for us, since we have learned how to easily learn the content we have planned in the last blog entry.

What about that audience attention span?  They are likely to stay with you for as long as they think there is something to be gained.  If you keep them anticipating you can afford short pauses.  The breaks will give the group time to absorb the points you have already made.  They will signal the start of a new point.  They will mark each statement as important enough to think about.

How do you break free?  Here is a plan based on the homework you did when you set up your main points.  Practice stating your thesis as a single sentence, then silently count to three.  Speak your first main point in one sentence, and count again.  Do this several times to cover your thesis and main points.  Be sure to end each statement with a falling, not rising inflection.  If you make everything sound like a question you will sound like you are asking the audience’s approval.  You are not asking, you are telling.  Make your point, let it hit home, then move on.  If you get used to doing this you should be able to replace um with nothing more than a very brief silence.  Instead of losing your audience you will win them over with your confidence.  Be bold.  Be heard.

Just Listen toYourself

Want to get better at speaking in a hurry?  Do it as often as you can.  Feel like you're not ready?  Don't worry, that feeling is partly wrong.  You will always feel a bit of it.  More on that later.  For now, just get started.

How?  Ask for volunteers from your group of family and friends.  Put a bunch of stuffed animals on a couch if you have to.  But gather an audience.  The point is to speak out loud.  Do it from only a small set of notes (if you must use notes at all).  

Why does it have to be out loud?  You are checking yourself out, and there are some things you have to hear.  How strong is your voice?  Are you delivering in a monotone?  Can you pronounce all the words in your material?  Are you saying "um" a lot?  Find out now, before these all become bad habits.

If You Believe, They Believe

There is a funny connection between the things that make you feel confident and the things that make your audience believe in you.  They are the same.  That's right.  Psychology tells us that your feeling of confidence comes from feeling competent and feeling worthy.  And your credibility with an audience comes when they judge that you are capable enough to talk about your subject and that you are a good enough person to tell them the truth.  Do you see the connection?  The first is how you view yourself in two areas, the second is how the audience rates you on the same scales.  This means that you can boost your confidence and your credibility with your listeners at the same time.

Sure, Dean, but HOW?  Prep.  Make sure you do know what you're talking about.  Be ethical enough to give the audience enough accurate information to leave your talk or presentation informed or persuaded beyond doubt.  Be prepared enough to present in a lively, interesting manner.  This is one of the reasons that putting in the work well before a speech helps calm your nerves.  Yes, you will still a bit jittery but that is not the same as  feeling lost because you are not ready to go on stage.  Prep early, then your last-minute rehearsals actually remind you that you can recall and deliver your material like a pro.  Everything will come naturally, intonations, gestures, eye contact will all flow.  Don't think your audience won't notice.   If you know that you know, they will too.

Need proof?  My favorite example is Ashley.  She was leaving the Resource Center on her way to a speech class when she passed my office with about 10 minutes to spare.  I asked her how she was doing and she told me she was  very nervous.  I asked her a couple of questions about her speech and she could see that she really did have her presentation down cold.  I gave her a couple of hints, but she had done her work well and realized it.  She instantly calmed down, and of course told me later that she did a great job.

I cannot tell you how many times as a magician I have to convince a volunteer to follow my directions exactly.  The way I gain trust and cooperation is the same way you will get the confidence of your audience.  Be assured that you are worth listening to.

Take Notes! (To Your Presentation)

One class I teach lasts four days and has two textbooks with a total of over 600 pages.  At the end of the class there is a 25-question post-test.  We prep all week for the test, but it is open book.  I'll bet you can guess what happens on the last day.  That's right.  A few of the students don't study so they try to find the answer to every question somewhere in the two books, while the majority of the class sits and waits for them to finish.  Do they pass?  Usually, but it's a painful process.

This happens because they rely too much on the pages in front of them.  Don't make the same mistake when you speak.  Take your notes with you as a last resort and a prop.  I like to write out a thesis sentence at the top of a 4x6" card in Sharpie, then write the keyword from each of my main points below, and finish with a sentence from my conclusion at the bottom.  This gives me just one card to carry with big letters I can read even if my glasses are smudged.  I sometimes prop this on something near me and the audience does not even know I have it.  Once in a while I will take my glasses off while turning to face the other side of the auditorium, and I can still glance at the card long enough to remind myself of my next point.

Here is my recommended way to use notes:  Make sure you know your material, then boil it down to a few notes you can read with a quick glance.  Even if you do forget a bit of your speech, you want create a long pause trying to find your place in copious notes.  This kind of confusion only creates more stress for you, and makes your presentation seem choppy or disjointed.  There is no substitute for knowing your material, but notes that are ready to move you along are a great confidence booster.

Release Your Mind from Unrealistic Goals

I hope this is one of the first posts you read when you come to my blog.  I am going to give you all types of guidance, knowledge, tips, and tricks that will help you grow your confidence but believe with all my heart that if you start out by thinking along the right lines you will hit the ground running.

In my experience, which includes teaching speech to hundreds of adult learners, the idea most people have is that speaking involves writing out a presentation word-for-word, memorizing it, and then delivering it almost verbatim.  If this is what you think you need to do you may be anxious as well. What I want to do here is outline a different approach. My goal is to lift a lot of that burden right off your shoulders.

The first notion you should let go of is the goal of giving a word-perfect delivery of some written out message.  The longest part of you speech should be a conversational delivery of your main points. If you plan on conveying meaning rather than memorized text you will be more relaxed, sound more relaxed, and connect more fully with your audience.  You will also be able to practice your speech in more ways.

For a minute let’s pretend that you have a great plan in place for your introduction and conclusion.  All you need to do is make sure you are ready to present your main points. You will need to practice the entire body of you speech, but you can get extra practice in by reviewing your main points quickly when you are not tied to a specific wording.

One of the problems of memorizing a speech and delivering it exactly as written is the fact that often if you lose your place you will have a hard time picking up again.  You will listen to yourself, counting on each sentence to remind you of the next. This is not a good way to calm your nerves. If you rely on a few sentences to carry a meaning you can build around then you simply have to track “I’m on my second point”.  Let’s look at how simple this approach can make your plan. Imagine that you will be giving a talk to persuade your listeners to avoid smoking. You might gather statistics, definitions of health conditions, anecdotes of people who have enjoyed quitting, and other support.  But you could boil down your message to three sentences as main points:

You should quit smoking for your health.

You should quit smoking for the health of those you love.

You should quit smoking to save money.

That’s a pretty easy bit to memorize.  These points should be enough to get you going.  Obviously if you have gathered facts about the health risks of smoking you will know to mention them with the first point, and statistics on the costs of smoking would go with the third.  You see how a strong simple structure like this can hold things together in your mind.

I’m not done simplifying yet.  Notice that all three of those points have similar wording.  You could just say “You should quit smoking to save your health, family, and budget,” making the three points into keywords.  The secret to making this work is to know something about your subject, so that anyone of these sentences reminds you of the things you know.

Do you see what freedom this brings you?  Imagine that you are disagreeing with a friend about which restaurant to buy lunch at.  You would make the point “I don’t want to eat at Bleccho’s, the last time I got sick.” If your friend persists you could and “And besides, they’re too expensive.”  All stuff you already knew, brought to mind as needed by the situation. There is really just a short leap from this little argument to a short persuasive speech. A third friend comes along and wants to know that you are discussing.  Now you do give a short speech. It goes like this:

“We are trying to decide where to eat.  She wants to go to Bleccho’s but I don’t.  I got sick there last time and couldn’t eat anything else for three days. And it costs way too much.  I spent fifteen dollar there last time for a sandwich with some chips. I think we should go to Fumigan’s.”

You are already fully capable of giving speeches about things you really understand and care about.  Keep this in mind as you prepare. Hold yourself to some good standards as you prepare, just make sure they are the right standards.

In-depth Resource

Let me start off by saying that I am an not Amazon Associate.

This is a book that was sent to me for review by the publisher when I was teaching communication at a private college, and I was able to compare this text to others.

Speak Up! has gone through several editions.  It is conversational in style, with many line drawings as illustrations and examples.  There is a lot to learn from the illustrations alone.  I found myself drifting from one to the next and picking up concepts quickly.  Yes, It is easy to read, but does go in depth into technical details.  If you would like to get into the technical details of speaking with a book that is clear, this is the one.

Speak Up! contains a lot of practical material, and if you want to buy just one book on speaking then move on to other things, this is the one.

The Sweaty Palms

It's your turn. You couldn't get out of this. You've been asked to speak, or show everyone that card trick you learned at home, or report to the executives on the status of your project. You don't like it. You're not alone. I've had college students finish a speech and rush out of the classroom to throw up somewhere more convenient. There are two things that help alleviate most of this fear, and the students who overcome their fear will attest to these methods. 

 First, prepare. Yes, I know there is a website filled with fair-to-good advice that advocates minimal preparation, but this is a bad idea for most speakers. When you really know your material cold you will be able to deliver in a much more natural manner. You won't spend your mental energy on recall, but on expression. When you think you have your points memorized you are ready to start another level of rehearsal. You can reach the stage where your main points are as easy to recall as your name, address, and phone number. This will create confidence for you and release you to began experimenting with your delivery style. What freedom! 

 The second point is one I haven't seen on websites or in textbooks, but it's a key strategy. Make sure your focus is on your audience. Let's say you are standing up in front of a group to explain to them the importance of a healthy diet. Is it important that you speak flawlessly? The priority is the health of your listeners, right? You have valuable information for them. If wearing a silly hat with carrots and tomatoes all over it would convince them to eat more vegetables wouldn't you do it? So stop worrying about how you are percieved and focus on the needs of your listeners. If you are truly prepared, this change of focus can quickly calm you down. As an untalented, untrained choir member who has had to sing solos in nursing homes before I can vouch for this approach. Yes, there are other items that will help you overcome your fear of standing up in front of a group, but these two are the most basic, and the best starting point.