Make it Easy to Remember

One of the factors that contributes to the fear of public speaking is the daunting task of trying to remember everything you want to say. You may have memories of finishing a presentation only to say “I forgot to tell them…”, or worse yet, you may be afraid you are going to blank out and forget your whole speech.  This may even have happened already.

First, let’s adjust your mindset a bit; then we’ll be able to lighten the load a lot.  There are two things you should keep in mind as you prepare your speech that will make preparation a joy rather than a burden.  Once we learn to base our planning on these we will take a very different path from the method of writing out every word then delivering every sentence from memory exactly as it is written down.  So here’s the big “secret”:  The audience doesn’t know what you’re going to say.  They don’t care if you use the exact words you practice with, as long as they get your meaning.  Therefore, there is no point in planning every word of the speech precisely.  Yes, punchlines, legal formulas, definitions, and quotes better be right, but other than that you just need to be sure you get across your meaning.  I have had students use this plan to learn a speech.  When they spoke they would sometimes substitute one word for another but then backtrack to correct themselves.  It might go something like this:  “If you’re going to start a business it might be wise to consult a lawyer, I mean an attorney”, which sounds awkward.  It also lets the audience know that you are focused on the words rather than their meaning.  This can be a signal that you are merely repeating phrases you don’t understand.  So let’s get you into something bit more comfortable, and practical.

Alright, you say, my old method may have been hard, but at least it was a method.  Now you tell me not to use it.  What have you got?  So glad you asked.  I use the preparation period as the time I memorize my speech.  And here’s another secret:  I DON’T memorize my speech.  I memorize parts of it.  Here’s how it works.

First, I come up with one sentence that is the main point of my talk, my thesis, you could say.  I do this before any other prep because if I don’t know what my point is I can hardly decide what to use during planning, can I?  This should be something that can be stated in one sentence.  This is the guiding idea of our presentation so it should make a nice summary.  There is the first thing I memorize – my point.  One sentence.  You can do that.  Try it now with some topic you’d like to speak on, and write it down.  Now.  Before you forget or start making excuses.

Next, as you gather your thoughts and your materials you will begin to decide what your main points will be.  Maybe they need to go in a specific order, but that’s a different blog post.  Right now we just know that we’ve come up with three or four supporting points or arguments that will make up your talk.  Each of those points should have a couple of key words in them.  Find those keywords.  They are your next assignment.  Once you have picked them out of the lineup, so to speak,  You will have an quick time keeping them in mind.

Here’s a real-life example.  I once gave a talk to several hundred young people.  I was told the topic was to be friendship.  The main idea of the talk was that there were some specific ways to chose friends.  The three points I made were there are people you it is good to be friends with, people it is not wise to be friends with, and people who need you to be their friend.  I boiled these sentences down to the keywords should, shouldn’t, and need.  If you are counting with me you know I have memorized one sentence and three keywords.  If I really know the meaning of my message this should take me very far.  I wrote these keywords on a 3x5” note card with a Sharpie in letters so large I could read them three feet away with my glasses off, which I ended up doing because I move around when I speak.  But I didn’t really need the card, because it was easy to remember my thoughts.  I simply wrapped up my keywords in similar sentences like “there are people you should be friends with”,  and “there are the ones you shouldn’t be friends with.”

So there you have a great start on learning your material.  Get a clear message first, know the ideas behind it.  If the topic already has meaning for you the keywords should be enough to bring out your message as it does mine.
This is a good stopping point for this blog.  Obviously there is more to building a speech, but remember, this blog is about memorizing one.  We are attacking the biggest source of fears first.  

And besides, you haven’t done you homework, have you?  I want you to pick two or three topics, sum up a message in one sentence, then write several other sentences to support that message.  Once that’s all written down for one topic, see how quickly you can recall your topic sentence  and you keywords. Turn your paper over and try to say them out loud.  
 If you put complete sentences together from your recall of the keywords you will have given a short speech!

Let me know in the comments of any questions or snags that come up as you work through this method this week.

Nervous? Hide in Plain Sight

“Never let ‘em see you sweat.” – Anti-perspirant commercial.

Early in this series I am going to give you one of the biggest secrets to overcoming your fear of speaking:  They won’t know you’re nervous if you don’t tell them.  This is great news for you, because you are going to draw attention to your message, and not yourself – see the next blog entry for details.  That means you won’t stand up and say “Oh, I am so nervous”, “I just hate doing this”, or “I’ve never done this before”.

If you did the homework I assigned in the last blog you know how to prep in such a way that you have your speech memorized and at your fingertips.  In the next bog you will learn how to be confident that you message is important to your audience.  For now we will assume that your listeners are interested – they want to hear what you have to say.  Don’t derail that flow of attention by diverting back to your personal circumstance.  No one came to hear about your inner turmoil.  Yes, there are a few tells that might indicate nerves, but they can be minimized.

Are your hands shaking?  Rest one on the podium or use it to hold a notepad or other item that might hold a short speech outline.  Gesture with it.  You might even pass it from hand to hand at times, giving you a chance to steady both hands.
Is your voice wavering?  Pump up the volume.  Put some real force behind it.  

Whatever you do, keep talking.  Get your message across.  

After the first couple of minutes you will find the nerves subside quite a bit, if you have prepared well.  Yes, you will always be a little nervous before every speech you give, but every time you finish strong you will reinforce your belief that you can speak in front of a group.

This entry I am giving you a pass on the homework, but it will be back.  Until then, pick out a favorite joke or fun fact, and tell it in front of the largest group you can find, in the lunchroom, the fellowship hall, or even waiting in line to pay for your groceries.

Let me know in the comments what the result was.

Umm..About Those Pauses...

Take my hand. I am about to lead you away from the trap we all fall into from time to time:  the vocalized pause.  You have heard famous people caught in it – the use of um and other filler syllables.  Yikes!  What’s happening with these?

We tend to use filler when we are afraid we will lose things, either the audience, our train of thought or both.  It may seem to us as if a pause in speaking stretches out for a long time and the listeners will grow restless.  Or that hearing our own words will help us remember what came next.  The problem of forgetting a speech shouldn’t come up for us, since we have learned how to easily learn the content we have planned in the last blog entry.

What about that audience attention span?  They are likely to stay with you for as long as they think there is something to be gained.  If you keep them anticipating you can afford short pauses.  The breaks will give the group time to absorb the points you have already made.  They will signal the start of a new point.  They will mark each statement as important enough to think about.

How do you break free?  Here is a plan based on the homework you did when you set up your main points.  Practice stating your thesis as a single sentence, then silently count to three.  Speak your first main point in one sentence, and count again.  Do this several times to cover your thesis and main points.  Be sure to end each statement with a falling, not rising inflection.  If you make everything sound like a question you will sound like you are asking the audience’s approval.  You are not asking, you are telling.  Make your point, let it hit home, then move on.  If you get used to doing this you should be able to replace um with nothing more than a very brief silence.  Instead of losing your audience you will win them over with your confidence.  Be bold.  Be heard.

Just Listen toYourself

Want to get better at speaking in a hurry?  Do it as often as you can.  Feel like you're not ready?  Don't worry, that feeling is partly wrong.  You will always feel a bit of it.  More on that later.  For now, just get started.

How?  Ask for volunteers from your group of family and friends.  Put a bunch of stuffed animals on a couch if you have to.  But gather an audience.  The point is to speak out loud.  Do it from only a small set of notes (if you must use notes at all).  

Why does it have to be out loud?  You are checking yourself out, and there are some things you have to hear.  How strong is your voice?  Are you delivering in a monotone?  Can you pronounce all the words in your material?  Are you saying "um" a lot?  Find out now, before these all become bad habits.

If You Believe, They Believe

There is a funny connection between the things that make you feel confident and the things that make your audience believe in you.  They are the same.  That's right.  Psychology tells us that your feeling of confidence comes from feeling competent and feeling worthy.  And your credibility with an audience comes when they judge that you are capable enough to talk about your subject and that you are a good enough person to tell them the truth.  Do you see the connection?  The first is how you view yourself in two areas, the second is how the audience rates you on the same scales.  This means that you can boost your confidence and your credibility with your listeners at the same time.

Sure, Dean, but HOW?  Prep.  Make sure you do know what you're talking about.  Be ethical enough to give the audience enough accurate information to leave your talk or presentation informed or persuaded beyond doubt.  Be prepared enough to present in a lively, interesting manner.  This is one of the reasons that putting in the work well before a speech helps calm your nerves.  Yes, you will still a bit jittery but that is not the same as  feeling lost because you are not ready to go on stage.  Prep early, then your last-minute rehearsals actually remind you that you can recall and deliver your material like a pro.  Everything will come naturally, intonations, gestures, eye contact will all flow.  Don't think your audience won't notice.   If you know that you know, they will too.

Need proof?  My favorite example is Ashley.  She was leaving the Resource Center on her way to a speech class when she passed my office with about 10 minutes to spare.  I asked her how she was doing and she told me she was  very nervous.  I asked her a couple of questions about her speech and she could see that she really did have her presentation down cold.  I gave her a couple of hints, but she had done her work well and realized it.  She instantly calmed down, and of course told me later that she did a great job.

I cannot tell you how many times as a magician I have to convince a volunteer to follow my directions exactly.  The way I gain trust and cooperation is the same way you will get the confidence of your audience.  Be assured that you are worth listening to.

Take Notes! (To Your Presentation)

One class I teach lasts four days and has two textbooks with a total of over 600 pages.  At the end of the class there is a 25-question post-test.  We prep all week for the test, but it is open book.  I'll bet you can guess what happens on the last day.  That's right.  A few of the students don't study so they try to find the answer to every question somewhere in the two books, while the majority of the class sits and waits for them to finish.  Do they pass?  Usually, but it's a painful process.

This happens because they rely too much on the pages in front of them.  Don't make the same mistake when you speak.  Take your notes with you as a last resort and a prop.  I like to write out a thesis sentence at the top of a 4x6" card in Sharpie, then write the keyword from each of my main points below, and finish with a sentence from my conclusion at the bottom.  This gives me just one card to carry with big letters I can read even if my glasses are smudged.  I sometimes prop this on something near me and the audience does not even know I have it.  Once in a while I will take my glasses off while turning to face the other side of the auditorium, and I can still glance at the card long enough to remind myself of my next point.

Here is my recommended way to use notes:  Make sure you know your material, then boil it down to a few notes you can read with a quick glance.  Even if you do forget a bit of your speech, you want create a long pause trying to find your place in copious notes.  This kind of confusion only creates more stress for you, and makes your presentation seem choppy or disjointed.  There is no substitute for knowing your material, but notes that are ready to move you along are a great confidence booster.

Release Your Mind from Unrealistic Goals

I hope this is one of the first posts you read when you come to my blog.  I am going to give you all types of guidance, knowledge, tips, and tricks that will help you grow your confidence but believe with all my heart that if you start out by thinking along the right lines you will hit the ground running.

In my experience, which includes teaching speech to hundreds of adult learners, the idea most people have is that speaking involves writing out a presentation word-for-word, memorizing it, and then delivering it almost verbatim.  If this is what you think you need to do you may be anxious as well. What I want to do here is outline a different approach. My goal is to lift a lot of that burden right off your shoulders.

The first notion you should let go of is the goal of giving a word-perfect delivery of some written out message.  The longest part of you speech should be a conversational delivery of your main points. If you plan on conveying meaning rather than memorized text you will be more relaxed, sound more relaxed, and connect more fully with your audience.  You will also be able to practice your speech in more ways.

For a minute let’s pretend that you have a great plan in place for your introduction and conclusion.  All you need to do is make sure you are ready to present your main points. You will need to practice the entire body of you speech, but you can get extra practice in by reviewing your main points quickly when you are not tied to a specific wording.

One of the problems of memorizing a speech and delivering it exactly as written is the fact that often if you lose your place you will have a hard time picking up again.  You will listen to yourself, counting on each sentence to remind you of the next. This is not a good way to calm your nerves. If you rely on a few sentences to carry a meaning you can build around then you simply have to track “I’m on my second point”.  Let’s look at how simple this approach can make your plan. Imagine that you will be giving a talk to persuade your listeners to avoid smoking. You might gather statistics, definitions of health conditions, anecdotes of people who have enjoyed quitting, and other support.  But you could boil down your message to three sentences as main points:

You should quit smoking for your health.

You should quit smoking for the health of those you love.

You should quit smoking to save money.

That’s a pretty easy bit to memorize.  These points should be enough to get you going.  Obviously if you have gathered facts about the health risks of smoking you will know to mention them with the first point, and statistics on the costs of smoking would go with the third.  You see how a strong simple structure like this can hold things together in your mind.

I’m not done simplifying yet.  Notice that all three of those points have similar wording.  You could just say “You should quit smoking to save your health, family, and budget,” making the three points into keywords.  The secret to making this work is to know something about your subject, so that anyone of these sentences reminds you of the things you know.

Do you see what freedom this brings you?  Imagine that you are disagreeing with a friend about which restaurant to buy lunch at.  You would make the point “I don’t want to eat at Bleccho’s, the last time I got sick.” If your friend persists you could and “And besides, they’re too expensive.”  All stuff you already knew, brought to mind as needed by the situation. There is really just a short leap from this little argument to a short persuasive speech. A third friend comes along and wants to know that you are discussing.  Now you do give a short speech. It goes like this:

“We are trying to decide where to eat.  She wants to go to Bleccho’s but I don’t.  I got sick there last time and couldn’t eat anything else for three days. And it costs way too much.  I spent fifteen dollar there last time for a sandwich with some chips. I think we should go to Fumigan’s.”

You are already fully capable of giving speeches about things you really understand and care about.  Keep this in mind as you prepare. Hold yourself to some good standards as you prepare, just make sure they are the right standards.