It's not Impor ant

It's important.  T is not a hard letter to pronounce.  You just said it's, so you must be up to the task.  Yet I hear this more and more.  Skipping this letter in the middle of a word is a type of slang, but it doesn't make you look good in a speech or presentation.  It certainly won't make people believe that you pay attention to details or give little things your best effort.

These days we have seen that the most well-known people in Washington, New York, Hollywood, and the pulpit are quite capable of low behavior, thank you very much.  Forget trying to sound "street", or casual, as if you're indifferent to societal norms and decorum.  Apparently everyone is.

If you really want to stand out, set yourself some high standards.  Skip the shocking language, the minimal effort level, and give it everything you've got.  You will be surprised at how others' perception of you improves.  For most of my speaking and teaching work I am required to gather feedback on surveys.  Although the crowd I sit with at lunch will sometimes tease me for avoiding the off-color humor that is easy to come by, my students have never once complained that I don't swear enough or tell enough crude jokes.  This is over 12 years of teaching in many different settings. 

What I am suggesting is that you take the high road as often as possible.  Using slang or profanity doesn't necessarily make you "authentic".  In fact, you might sound casual or insincere.  You may also sound like you don't take your responsibility as a speaker seriously.  Your listeners may wonder whether you have paid enough attention to details as you did your research, or reasoned through your arguments.

Of course you would like to sound interesting and relateable.  But you can do this with strong examples from your own life story, or even giving out some deeper information that your audience might not get in other places.

To sum up, always do your best to elevate yourself and your audience.

And Your Point is...?

Him:  Do you think we could have a whole conversation that is only questions?

Her:  Why do you want to know?

Him:  Aren’t you the least bit curious?

Her:  Do you have time to try it?

Him:  What else have we got to do?

Her:  Where should we start?

Him:  Isn’t it a little late to ask that?

Her:  Is that the time?

Him:  Are you going?

Her:  What do you think?

Him:  See you tomorrow?

What are Your Standards?

Our fear of speaking in front of a group is partly based on our own mindset, especially the idea that we are not worthy to be heard.  Do NOT compare yourself to a famous speaker or your favorite speaker.  You are unique.  I am not saying your are perfect the way you are, just that we all have our strengths and you are no exception.  If you try to imitate someone else you may cover up your best traits.  You may also fall prey to the "I could never" type of statements that will create discouragement for no reason.  "I could never be that funny" or "I could never remember a whole speech in front of all those people".

Does this mean that anything you do will be good enough?  Well, there are some things we want to strive for, like good grammar, logical presentation, and an understanding of our audience.  But once those are in place our style should not be judged by the things someone else is doing.  If you aren't convinced yet go to YouTube and compare the comedy styles of the monotone Stephen Wright with the sometimes frantic ravings of Brian Regan.  Neither one of these pros sounds like the other, yet they are both successful at getting laughs.

There is an upside to watching how the best do their jobs.  It is the chance to observe and learn.  We can watch them recover from mistakes, improvise, and adapt to changing situations.  We can get free lessons, but let's not get caught up in the comparison game.  It will only add to our feeling that we're not good enough.

This week's step to overcoming your fear of speaking was mainly about things to avoid.  Next week will be about the best mindset you can adopt to shrink your anxiety.  After that we will get into the nuts and bolts of preparing and practicing.

Be sure and leave a comment below so that I can address any questions or topic requests you have.

In the meantime -  Be Bold. Be Heard.

Make it Easy to Remember

One of the factors that contributes to the fear of public speaking is the daunting task of trying to remember everything you want to say. You may have memories of finishing a presentation only to say “I forgot to tell them…”, or worse yet, you may be afraid you are going to blank out and forget your whole speech.  This may even have happened already.

First, let’s adjust your mindset a bit; then we’ll be able to lighten the load a lot.  There are two things you should keep in mind as you prepare your speech that will make preparation a joy rather than a burden.  Once we learn to base our planning on these we will take a very different path from the method of writing out every word then delivering every sentence from memory exactly as it is written down.  So here’s the big “secret”:  The audience doesn’t know what you’re going to say.  They don’t care if you use the exact words you practice with, as long as they get your meaning.  Therefore, there is no point in planning every word of the speech precisely.  Yes, punchlines, legal formulas, definitions, and quotes better be right, but other than that you just need to be sure you get across your meaning.  I have had students use this plan to learn a speech.  When they spoke they would sometimes substitute one word for another but then backtrack to correct themselves.  It might go something like this:  “If you’re going to start a business it might be wise to consult a lawyer, I mean an attorney”, which sounds awkward.  It also lets the audience know that you are focused on the words rather than their meaning.  This can be a signal that you are merely repeating phrases you don’t understand.  So let’s get you into something bit more comfortable, and practical.

Alright, you say, my old method may have been hard, but at least it was a method.  Now you tell me not to use it.  What have you got?  So glad you asked.  I use the preparation period as the time I memorize my speech.  And here’s another secret:  I DON’T memorize my speech.  I memorize parts of it.  Here’s how it works.

First, I come up with one sentence that is the main point of my talk, my thesis, you could say.  I do this before any other prep because if I don’t know what my point is I can hardly decide what to use during planning, can I?  This should be something that can be stated in one sentence.  This is the guiding idea of our presentation so it should make a nice summary.  There is the first thing I memorize – my point.  One sentence.  You can do that.  Try it now with some topic you’d like to speak on, and write it down.  Now.  Before you forget or start making excuses.

Next, as you gather your thoughts and your materials you will begin to decide what your main points will be.  Maybe they need to go in a specific order, but that’s a different blog post.  Right now we just know that we’ve come up with three or four supporting points or arguments that will make up your talk.  Each of those points should have a couple of key words in them.  Find those keywords.  They are your next assignment.  Once you have picked them out of the lineup, so to speak,  You will have an quick time keeping them in mind.

Here’s a real-life example.  I once gave a talk to several hundred young people.  I was told the topic was to be friendship.  The main idea of the talk was that there were some specific ways to chose friends.  The three points I made were there are people you it is good to be friends with, people it is not wise to be friends with, and people who need you to be their friend.  I boiled these sentences down to the keywords should, shouldn’t, and need.  If you are counting with me you know I have memorized one sentence and three keywords.  If I really know the meaning of my message this should take me very far.  I wrote these keywords on a 3x5” note card with a Sharpie in letters so large I could read them three feet away with my glasses off, which I ended up doing because I move around when I speak.  But I didn’t really need the card, because it was easy to remember my thoughts.  I simply wrapped up my keywords in similar sentences like “there are people you should be friends with”,  and “there are the ones you shouldn’t be friends with.”

So there you have a great start on learning your material.  Get a clear message first, know the ideas behind it.  If the topic already has meaning for you the keywords should be enough to bring out your message as it does mine.
This is a good stopping point for this blog.  Obviously there is more to building a speech, but remember, this blog is about memorizing one.  We are attacking the biggest source of fears first.  

And besides, you haven’t done you homework, have you?  I want you to pick two or three topics, sum up a message in one sentence, then write several other sentences to support that message.  Once that’s all written down for one topic, see how quickly you can recall your topic sentence  and you keywords. Turn your paper over and try to say them out loud.  
 If you put complete sentences together from your recall of the keywords you will have given a short speech!

Let me know in the comments of any questions or snags that come up as you work through this method this week.

Nervous? Hide in Plain Sight

“Never let ‘em see you sweat.” – Anti-perspirant commercial.

Early in this series I am going to give you one of the biggest secrets to overcoming your fear of speaking:  They won’t know you’re nervous if you don’t tell them.  This is great news for you, because you are going to draw attention to your message, and not yourself – see the next blog entry for details.  That means you won’t stand up and say “Oh, I am so nervous”, “I just hate doing this”, or “I’ve never done this before”.

If you did the homework I assigned in the last blog you know how to prep in such a way that you have your speech memorized and at your fingertips.  In the next bog you will learn how to be confident that you message is important to your audience.  For now we will assume that your listeners are interested – they want to hear what you have to say.  Don’t derail that flow of attention by diverting back to your personal circumstance.  No one came to hear about your inner turmoil.  Yes, there are a few tells that might indicate nerves, but they can be minimized.

Are your hands shaking?  Rest one on the podium or use it to hold a notepad or other item that might hold a short speech outline.  Gesture with it.  You might even pass it from hand to hand at times, giving you a chance to steady both hands.
Is your voice wavering?  Pump up the volume.  Put some real force behind it.  

Whatever you do, keep talking.  Get your message across.  

After the first couple of minutes you will find the nerves subside quite a bit, if you have prepared well.  Yes, you will always be a little nervous before every speech you give, but every time you finish strong you will reinforce your belief that you can speak in front of a group.

This entry I am giving you a pass on the homework, but it will be back.  Until then, pick out a favorite joke or fun fact, and tell it in front of the largest group you can find, in the lunchroom, the fellowship hall, or even waiting in line to pay for your groceries.

Let me know in the comments what the result was.

Umm..About Those Pauses...

Take my hand. I am about to lead you away from the trap we all fall into from time to time:  the vocalized pause.  You have heard famous people caught in it – the use of um and other filler syllables.  Yikes!  What’s happening with these?

We tend to use filler when we are afraid we will lose things, either the audience, our train of thought or both.  It may seem to us as if a pause in speaking stretches out for a long time and the listeners will grow restless.  Or that hearing our own words will help us remember what came next.  The problem of forgetting a speech shouldn’t come up for us, since we have learned how to easily learn the content we have planned in the last blog entry.

What about that audience attention span?  They are likely to stay with you for as long as they think there is something to be gained.  If you keep them anticipating you can afford short pauses.  The breaks will give the group time to absorb the points you have already made.  They will signal the start of a new point.  They will mark each statement as important enough to think about.

How do you break free?  Here is a plan based on the homework you did when you set up your main points.  Practice stating your thesis as a single sentence, then silently count to three.  Speak your first main point in one sentence, and count again.  Do this several times to cover your thesis and main points.  Be sure to end each statement with a falling, not rising inflection.  If you make everything sound like a question you will sound like you are asking the audience’s approval.  You are not asking, you are telling.  Make your point, let it hit home, then move on.  If you get used to doing this you should be able to replace um with nothing more than a very brief silence.  Instead of losing your audience you will win them over with your confidence.  Be bold.  Be heard.

Just Listen toYourself

Want to get better at speaking in a hurry?  Do it as often as you can.  Feel like you're not ready?  Don't worry, that feeling is partly wrong.  You will always feel a bit of it.  More on that later.  For now, just get started.

How?  Ask for volunteers from your group of family and friends.  Put a bunch of stuffed animals on a couch if you have to.  But gather an audience.  The point is to speak out loud.  Do it from only a small set of notes (if you must use notes at all).  

Why does it have to be out loud?  You are checking yourself out, and there are some things you have to hear.  How strong is your voice?  Are you delivering in a monotone?  Can you pronounce all the words in your material?  Are you saying "um" a lot?  Find out now, before these all become bad habits.

If You Believe, They Believe

There is a funny connection between the things that make you feel confident and the things that make your audience believe in you.  They are the same.  That's right.  Psychology tells us that your feeling of confidence comes from feeling competent and feeling worthy.  And your credibility with an audience comes when they judge that you are capable enough to talk about your subject and that you are a good enough person to tell them the truth.  Do you see the connection?  The first is how you view yourself in two areas, the second is how the audience rates you on the same scales.  This means that you can boost your confidence and your credibility with your listeners at the same time.

Sure, Dean, but HOW?  Prep.  Make sure you do know what you're talking about.  Be ethical enough to give the audience enough accurate information to leave your talk or presentation informed or persuaded beyond doubt.  Be prepared enough to present in a lively, interesting manner.  This is one of the reasons that putting in the work well before a speech helps calm your nerves.  Yes, you will still a bit jittery but that is not the same as  feeling lost because you are not ready to go on stage.  Prep early, then your last-minute rehearsals actually remind you that you can recall and deliver your material like a pro.  Everything will come naturally, intonations, gestures, eye contact will all flow.  Don't think your audience won't notice.   If you know that you know, they will too.

Need proof?  My favorite example is Ashley.  She was leaving the Resource Center on her way to a speech class when she passed my office with about 10 minutes to spare.  I asked her how she was doing and she told me she was  very nervous.  I asked her a couple of questions about her speech and she could see that she really did have her presentation down cold.  I gave her a couple of hints, but she had done her work well and realized it.  She instantly calmed down, and of course told me later that she did a great job.

I cannot tell you how many times as a magician I have to convince a volunteer to follow my directions exactly.  The way I gain trust and cooperation is the same way you will get the confidence of your audience.  Be assured that you are worth listening to.

Take Notes! (To Your Presentation)

One class I teach lasts four days and has two textbooks with a total of over 600 pages.  At the end of the class there is a 25-question post-test.  We prep all week for the test, but it is open book.  I'll bet you can guess what happens on the last day.  That's right.  A few of the students don't study so they try to find the answer to every question somewhere in the two books, while the majority of the class sits and waits for them to finish.  Do they pass?  Usually, but it's a painful process.

This happens because they rely too much on the pages in front of them.  Don't make the same mistake when you speak.  Take your notes with you as a last resort and a prop.  I like to write out a thesis sentence at the top of a 4x6" card in Sharpie, then write the keyword from each of my main points below, and finish with a sentence from my conclusion at the bottom.  This gives me just one card to carry with big letters I can read even if my glasses are smudged.  I sometimes prop this on something near me and the audience does not even know I have it.  Once in a while I will take my glasses off while turning to face the other side of the auditorium, and I can still glance at the card long enough to remind myself of my next point.

Here is my recommended way to use notes:  Make sure you know your material, then boil it down to a few notes you can read with a quick glance.  Even if you do forget a bit of your speech, you want create a long pause trying to find your place in copious notes.  This kind of confusion only creates more stress for you, and makes your presentation seem choppy or disjointed.  There is no substitute for knowing your material, but notes that are ready to move you along are a great confidence booster.

Release Your Mind from Unrealistic Goals

I hope this is one of the first posts you read when you come to my blog.  I am going to give you all types of guidance, knowledge, tips, and tricks that will help you grow your confidence but believe with all my heart that if you start out by thinking along the right lines you will hit the ground running.

In my experience, which includes teaching speech to hundreds of adult learners, the idea most people have is that speaking involves writing out a presentation word-for-word, memorizing it, and then delivering it almost verbatim.  If this is what you think you need to do you may be anxious as well. What I want to do here is outline a different approach. My goal is to lift a lot of that burden right off your shoulders.

The first notion you should let go of is the goal of giving a word-perfect delivery of some written out message.  The longest part of you speech should be a conversational delivery of your main points. If you plan on conveying meaning rather than memorized text you will be more relaxed, sound more relaxed, and connect more fully with your audience.  You will also be able to practice your speech in more ways.

For a minute let’s pretend that you have a great plan in place for your introduction and conclusion.  All you need to do is make sure you are ready to present your main points. You will need to practice the entire body of you speech, but you can get extra practice in by reviewing your main points quickly when you are not tied to a specific wording.

One of the problems of memorizing a speech and delivering it exactly as written is the fact that often if you lose your place you will have a hard time picking up again.  You will listen to yourself, counting on each sentence to remind you of the next. This is not a good way to calm your nerves. If you rely on a few sentences to carry a meaning you can build around then you simply have to track “I’m on my second point”.  Let’s look at how simple this approach can make your plan. Imagine that you will be giving a talk to persuade your listeners to avoid smoking. You might gather statistics, definitions of health conditions, anecdotes of people who have enjoyed quitting, and other support.  But you could boil down your message to three sentences as main points:

You should quit smoking for your health.

You should quit smoking for the health of those you love.

You should quit smoking to save money.

That’s a pretty easy bit to memorize.  These points should be enough to get you going.  Obviously if you have gathered facts about the health risks of smoking you will know to mention them with the first point, and statistics on the costs of smoking would go with the third.  You see how a strong simple structure like this can hold things together in your mind.

I’m not done simplifying yet.  Notice that all three of those points have similar wording.  You could just say “You should quit smoking to save your health, family, and budget,” making the three points into keywords.  The secret to making this work is to know something about your subject, so that anyone of these sentences reminds you of the things you know.

Do you see what freedom this brings you?  Imagine that you are disagreeing with a friend about which restaurant to buy lunch at.  You would make the point “I don’t want to eat at Bleccho’s, the last time I got sick.” If your friend persists you could and “And besides, they’re too expensive.”  All stuff you already knew, brought to mind as needed by the situation. There is really just a short leap from this little argument to a short persuasive speech. A third friend comes along and wants to know that you are discussing.  Now you do give a short speech. It goes like this:

“We are trying to decide where to eat.  She wants to go to Bleccho’s but I don’t.  I got sick there last time and couldn’t eat anything else for three days. And it costs way too much.  I spent fifteen dollar there last time for a sandwich with some chips. I think we should go to Fumigan’s.”

You are already fully capable of giving speeches about things you really understand and care about.  Keep this in mind as you prepare. Hold yourself to some good standards as you prepare, just make sure they are the right standards.

In-depth Resource

Let me start off by saying that I am an not Amazon Associate.

This is a book that was sent to me for review by the publisher when I was teaching communication at a private college, and I was able to compare this text to others.

Speak Up! has gone through several editions.  It is conversational in style, with many line drawings as illustrations and examples.  There is a lot to learn from the illustrations alone.  I found myself drifting from one to the next and picking up concepts quickly.  Yes, It is easy to read, but does go in depth into technical details.  If you would like to get into the technical details of speaking with a book that is clear, this is the one.

Speak Up! contains a lot of practical material, and if you want to buy just one book on speaking then move on to other things, this is the one.

The Sweaty Palms

It's your turn. You couldn't get out of this. You've been asked to speak, or show everyone that card trick you learned at home, or report to the executives on the status of your project. You don't like it. You're not alone. I've had college students finish a speech and rush out of the classroom to throw up somewhere more convenient. There are two things that help alleviate most of this fear, and the students who overcome their fear will attest to these methods. 

 First, prepare. Yes, I know there is a website filled with fair-to-good advice that advocates minimal preparation, but this is a bad idea for most speakers. When you really know your material cold you will be able to deliver in a much more natural manner. You won't spend your mental energy on recall, but on expression. When you think you have your points memorized you are ready to start another level of rehearsal. You can reach the stage where your main points are as easy to recall as your name, address, and phone number. This will create confidence for you and release you to began experimenting with your delivery style. What freedom! 

 The second point is one I haven't seen on websites or in textbooks, but it's a key strategy. Make sure your focus is on your audience. Let's say you are standing up in front of a group to explain to them the importance of a healthy diet. Is it important that you speak flawlessly? The priority is the health of your listeners, right? You have valuable information for them. If wearing a silly hat with carrots and tomatoes all over it would convince them to eat more vegetables wouldn't you do it? So stop worrying about how you are percieved and focus on the needs of your listeners. If you are truly prepared, this change of focus can quickly calm you down. As an untalented, untrained choir member who has had to sing solos in nursing homes before I can vouch for this approach. Yes, there are other items that will help you overcome your fear of standing up in front of a group, but these two are the most basic, and the best starting point.

Make it Stop

 “See,” said the applicant, “there are three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and your company’s way. I have to figure out what the right way is and tell them that. They have to know what really works.” He was interviewing for a job introducing a company’s latest commercial line of climate control microcontrollers.

“Yeah, a week, I’ll know your product, whichever one you guys train on.” The company has a full line of scaled climate systems, plus ancillary lines of humidifiers and air filters.

He was not invited to a second interview.

I am not sure why, but many people interview for a job as if they don’t need one. This is just one example of several a professional acquaintance of mine could tell you about.

In a couple of instances the answer to tell me about yourself and why you would be a good fit for the company turned into a three-minute monologue, with no connection to the job opening.

A job interview is a series of questions and answers, but you can help yourself by thinking of it as a set of small speeches. Every speech should have a main idea, and for these speeches the main idea should be “Here’s why I would be great in this job.” You are not in the room to tell the interviewer how the company should be run. You are not there to show how much wiser you are (see the examples above).

Now it is very possible that the people I am referring to were not interested in the jobs they were interviewing for, but let’s assume they were. How could they have easily improved their answers? By thinking of their job interview as a sales pitch in miniature. How would that work?

Very simple – ask the customer what they want and demonstrate that you have it. Working through a recruiter usually gets the first part. A job posting sometimes has enough information, but there is no reason not to ask for clarification during an interview. The rest is just a matter of finding parts of your skills, training, and experience the meet the job requirements. Formulate your answers as clear two- to three-sentence speeches. Longer answers are okay occasionally, but limit them. And above all, keep it brief. I flipped through an old notebook the other day with notes from an interview in which the candidate would quiz us, almost literally tell us he was smarter than us, then proceed to lecture for three minutes at a pop. This went on for forty minutes. The last line in my notes on the candidate? “Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!”
x

The Power of "I"

We've all heard that we should avoid talking about ourselves. As a general rule this is a way to avoid appearing self-centered, which is a good thing. But there is time to break this rule, and this is when it will avoid confrontations with clients and coworkers. How does this work? 

 In conversations, just as in physics, each action has an equal and opposite reaction. You push me I push you, you pull on one end of the rope I pull on the other. This is not what we want when we have not met a customer's expectations. So where does the focus on self come in? It works in a positive way when you place the responsibility for the situation on yourself. Imagine you are serving food at a restaurant and as you lay out lunch for a table one diner becomes irritated with you. "I wanted tuna salad, not chicken salad," he barks. Now you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he said chicken. The woman with him said "I'll have that too," and is already three bites in to her sandwich with no complaints. 

Remember your big goal here is to get a tip. Winning an argument won't put a dime in your pocket. So instead of saying "You said chicken, but I'll change it for you no problem," you don't push back. Don't put the responsibility on him. Try this instead. Don't grimace or smirk. Pick the plate up and say "I'm sorry I brought you the wrong thing. I'll get this changed as quickly as possible." No arguments. You may still get a gruff comment or two, but you haven't provoked your customer any further. And you ARE sorry it was the wrong sandwich, whatever the reason. In some cases your partner in the transaction will actually realize later that they have made a mistake. This will not always work. But arguing with clients is a losing proposition. If you've got documentation you may sometimes need to say, "I'm sorry, you did sign a contract listing 1 PM as the start of the show," but do not ever forget that your ultimate goal is to earn money. Theirs. And they won't give it to someone they resent.

Yeah, so..Interviews

Recently I listened to two interviews back-to-back. They were episodes from different podcasts, and each highlighted a different author. They had one thing in common. The guest  began every answer with "yeah" on one and "so" on the other. Every answer.  It was not quite as bad a sprinkling "um" throughout sentences, but it was still noticeable. 

I believe this can sometimes happen when we are not sure how are answer will transition from the question. But answering a prompt like "Tell us about your favorite marketing techniques" with "Yeah" is unnecessary. A better transition could be "That's a great question," or "I'm glad you asked". Since you are responding to a question or prompt the listener already sees the connection, you usually could just launch into your answer.

Being direct and decisive with your presentation will make you sound more confident, so try to abandon the use of repeated filler words no matter which they are.

Dean Paczewitz

Gentle Persuasion

I've heard a lot of people lately wondering how to reach friends, neighbors, and coworkers with radically different opinions from their own. It sometimes seems that discussions become arguments, family gatherings turn into shouting matches. Here are a couple of things to remember about persuasion. First, it takes time, and second, your listener must do some of this work. Let's apply these. You may have a coworker that completely objects to your political opinions. You are supporting opposing candidates for governor. You could debate your friend (plan to keep this friendly), listing every pro and con for each candidate. 

That is a lot of work. It will require you to keep up on all aspects of every issue. And you will be drawn into side arguments. It's also a poor use of your time on the job, and certainly not a fun lunchtime topic. 

Take some of the heat off yourself. What is it you like about your candidate? Let's say it's a tax policy. 

When you are called upon for your opinion, simply point to a principle you stand for. You might say, "Tax strategy x has always been effective." You are narrowing your field, and commenting on a general principle. You are also implying, "Hey, I would vote for your candidate if your candidate followed this principle." You have taken a lot personality out of the discussion, and relied on something that is easier to support. Now for the hard part. Stop talking. There is an old saying in sales. You ask the customer to buy, and the next person to speaks owns the product. Just let your point sink in and forget about it. Give your listener a chance to mull over your comment at a later time. They would rather draw their own conclusions, and get credit for doing their own conclusions. Remember the old adage that "A little bit goes a long way." Now there's a little boy watching me persuading me to let him visit the Lego website.

Oh What a Feeling

Reviewing the textbook I use to teach my basic college speaking course I found some advice that doesn't work for me. The author claims that part of using an emotional appeal in persuasion is to use emotional language. Now that statement suggests that you should use language that pushes hot buttons, or actually describes feelings you want your listeners to experience. 

This is a weak approach. Want proof? Watch a great chick flick, then watch a standard made-for-TV movie. Which one engages your emotions, and why? A talented filmmaker with a good cast will portray situations that raise emotions in viewers. But watch all the long closeups in the hack show where a character is supposed to be thinking something. No one moves, no one says anything, we have to fill in the feelings for ourselves, and guess the thoughts of the characters. On the sitcom Friends, the character Joey Tribiani describes this as "smell the fart acting." Make a face as if you are wondering where the odor is coming from, and let the viewer fill in the blanks. If you've got a real case for your position you don't need to coerce our feelings. Just make your case with evidence and examples and let us react. I didn't know what a puppy mill was until one of my students spoke on it for a class assignment. Briefly, a puppy mill confines breeding females in tiny cages and breeds them until they die. Often the puppies are unhealthy. Dealers who sell puppy mill puppies guarantee their health, not because they are healthy but because they'll gladly give you another if yours dies. 

When I learned this I had emotions, and when I repeat it to my students they experience the same emotions. But notice that I did not use the language of emotions, any more than great comedians spend their time saying things like "this is really funny," or "you're gonna laugh at this one..." If you've got a good case to make, do so. If you can convince me you are right your work is done. But my emotions will change frequently. Don't rely on them.

Say Something

Okay, I think I have entered the 21st century. I'm on Twitter and Instagram. I'm following some of the young, tech-inclined YouTube stars. Ever watch one of the early YouTube shows? They scream "amateur." Why? No preparation. One even has apologies at the end of the show for problems. They consist of people in front of a camera with no direction to their comments or conversation. In one case the "star" actually brought up something from Twitter then admitted that she had no idea what it was, as she had not checked it out. 

So don't bring it up. Other comments included news items like "Such and such company now has more money. What will they do? Could be this, could be that..." From the jumps you can tell that these little gems were actually the best, culled from all the rest in editing. 

Yikes. Kids, take it from an old hand. If you want to talk in front of people, have something to say. Plan a point, support it, and move on. A little rehearsal wouldn't hurt, either.

This Blog's for You

This blog is for you if you have had an experience like the one I went through early in my career. 

I was standing at the back of a room, shaking, sick to my stomach, distracted with fear. What horrible thing was happening to me? My dream was coming true. 

You see I had been hired to perform one of my first professional magic shows and I was terrified. I knew my tricks, and I knew what I planned to say to my audience, but I was scared of them. I wanted to die, and I vowed that I would never try to become a paid entertainer again. Fortunately, I found a better solution. I powered through the show that night, then discovered the principles that allowed me to present successfully in spite of the nervous energy that creeps up on even the most experienced speakers. Learning these has enabled me to speak in front of hundreds of strangers, appear on camera, and lead seminars that last for days. I taugh these principles to hundreds of college students in public speaking classes.  I would like to share them with you here. 

This blog is for you if: 

• You are afraid to speak in front of people, or on camera, but you want to. 
• You don't have large reserves of time or money to spend on training. 
• You want tried-and-true methods that will help you speak confidently. 

Great candidates to follow this blog are: the "mompreneur" who wants to sell on-camera, or the would-be Bible study leader who gets the shakes when more than two people are listening in. 

In the upcoming weeks I will publish posts that will show you how to change the way you think about speaking situations, and change your approach to them. We will work through some of the homework you should do before you stand in front of a room, and show you how simple it can often be. Speaking should not be a burden, and preparing for a speech should not be drudgery. You will see why one of the sayings I will use is "Be bold. Be heard." Get started by following to keep up with the upcoming posts.