Our fear of speaking in front of a group is partly based on our own mindset, especially the idea that we are not worthy to be heard. Do NOT compare yourself to a famous speaker or your favorite speaker. You are unique. I am not saying your are perfect the way you are, just that we all have our strengths and you are no exception. If you try to imitate someone else you may cover up your best traits. You may also fall prey to the "I could never" type of statements that will create discouragement for no reason. "I could never be that funny" or "I could never remember a whole speech in front of all those people".
Does this mean that anything you do will be good enough? Well, there are some things we want to strive for, like good grammar, logical presentation, and an understanding of our audience. But once those are in place our style should not be judged by the things someone else is doing. If you aren't convinced yet go to YouTube and compare the comedy styles of the monotone Stephen Wright with the sometimes frantic ravings of Brian Regan. Neither one of these pros sounds like the other, yet they are both successful at getting laughs.
There is an upside to watching how the best do their jobs. It is the chance to observe and learn. We can watch them recover from mistakes, improvise, and adapt to changing situations. We can get free lessons, but let's not get caught up in the comparison game. It will only add to our feeling that we're not good enough.
This week's step to overcoming your fear of speaking was mainly about things to avoid. Next week will be about the best mindset you can adopt to shrink your anxiety. After that we will get into the nuts and bolts of preparing and practicing.
Be sure and leave a comment below so that I can address any questions or topic requests you have.
In the meantime - Be Bold. Be Heard.
Showing posts with label mindset. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mindset. Show all posts
Sunday, November 9, 2025
Sunday, October 19, 2025
Umm..About Those Pauses...
Take my hand. I am about to lead you away from the trap we all fall into from time to time: the vocalized pause. You have heard famous people caught in it – the use of um and other filler syllables. Yikes! What’s happening with these?
We tend to use filler when we are afraid we will lose things, either the audience, our train of thought or both. It may seem to us as if a pause in speaking stretches out for a long time and the listeners will grow restless. Or that hearing our own words will help us remember what came next. The problem of forgetting a speech shouldn’t come up for us, since we have learned how to easily learn the content we have planned in the last blog entry.
What about that audience attention span? They are likely to stay with you for as long as they think there is something to be gained. If you keep them anticipating you can afford short pauses. The breaks will give the group time to absorb the points you have already made. They will signal the start of a new point. They will mark each statement as important enough to think about.
How do you break free? Here is a plan based on the homework you did when you set up your main points. Practice stating your thesis as a single sentence, then silently count to three. Speak your first main point in one sentence, and count again. Do this several times to cover your thesis and main points. Be sure to end each statement with a falling, not rising inflection. If you make everything sound like a question you will sound like you are asking the audience’s approval. You are not asking, you are telling. Make your point, let it hit home, then move on. If you get used to doing this you should be able to replace um with nothing more than a very brief silence. Instead of losing your audience you will win them over with your confidence. Be bold. Be heard.
We tend to use filler when we are afraid we will lose things, either the audience, our train of thought or both. It may seem to us as if a pause in speaking stretches out for a long time and the listeners will grow restless. Or that hearing our own words will help us remember what came next. The problem of forgetting a speech shouldn’t come up for us, since we have learned how to easily learn the content we have planned in the last blog entry.
What about that audience attention span? They are likely to stay with you for as long as they think there is something to be gained. If you keep them anticipating you can afford short pauses. The breaks will give the group time to absorb the points you have already made. They will signal the start of a new point. They will mark each statement as important enough to think about.
How do you break free? Here is a plan based on the homework you did when you set up your main points. Practice stating your thesis as a single sentence, then silently count to three. Speak your first main point in one sentence, and count again. Do this several times to cover your thesis and main points. Be sure to end each statement with a falling, not rising inflection. If you make everything sound like a question you will sound like you are asking the audience’s approval. You are not asking, you are telling. Make your point, let it hit home, then move on. If you get used to doing this you should be able to replace um with nothing more than a very brief silence. Instead of losing your audience you will win them over with your confidence. Be bold. Be heard.
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