Minimum Usable Force

I want to spend the next few entries helping those that may find some conversations don't go as well as hoped and wonder why.  There are a some principles that can guide a speaker through the rocky shoals.  Once they become a matter of habit your can expect your blood pressure to drop.  The first principle appears in a lot of guises in other areas of life.  It is simply the idea that you use the least possible pressure to get the job done.  This is a concept already known to radio operators and law enforcement officers.  I've borrowed a term for it:  Minimum Usable Force.

What does Minimum Usable Force mean during, say, a performance review?  It means you will phrase your negative statements as lightly as you can without sacrificing your point.  Imagine you must meet with an employee and point out a repeated failure to meet deadlines.  You can choose to state your case in a way that makes a blanket statement focusing on the individual such as "You don't get your work done," or you can limit your observation to something more specific, for instance "Your work usually isn't in by the expected date."  In the first sentence there are greater implications about the character of the employee, and while it may be warranted, it will be harder for the employee to answer without becoming defensive.  Both sentences discuss the same problem, but if your listener is the type to take offense the second will give you both some room to maneuver.   The second statement focuses on the work itself, in a way that can be checked and verified.  Here's a script to suggest how this might help:

You:  Now there is an item we need to spend a minute on here.  It seems that your work is often submitted after the due date.

Employee:  Are you saying I'm lazy?

You:  No.  I want to see what can be done to improve the timeliness of the work, that's all.

Employee:  But when you say that you're saying I'm procrastinating or something, like I don't do my job.

You:  Not at all.  There could be any number of reasons why this happens.  Of course I would like your perspective on this.

Employee:  Oh.  Well, I can tell you why it usually happens...

You get the idea.  Naturally, if you're a supervisor dealing with this employee on numerous tasks you will be tempted at times to blaze away in anger with a statement like "You're as slow as molasses in January," or something more insulting.  Developing a light touch will keep you from having to apologize, backpedal, or raise your voice quite as often.